Mature Dating - Perfect Your Online Dating Profile

LOVE BEGINS AT 40

Online Dating can be a very rewarding experience, but also at times an extremely daunting one. No matter how confident or professionally successfully you are, signing up to a dating site is a scary prospect. Perhaps one of the biggest worries is how to portray yourself effectively in so few lines?

Your online dating profile can be as important as a photo in attracting perspective dates, but how do you sum yourself up accurately and impressively in so few words? Luckily following these few simple tips can make this process a lot easier for you and make your dating experience a whole lot more successful.

1. Be Positive! It is essential to be positive in your approach to online dating and in how you represent yourself. Negativity is a turn off, so in your profile talk about things you love not hate, and how excited you are to be joining a online dating  service, not how nervous or apprehensive you maybe.
2. Be Unique! There will be thousands of profiles out there; many will be very similar and typical. Make yours stand out from the crowd, don't worry about putting the odd person off, you'll attract much more interest through your individuality and uniqueness.
3. Use Examples – When describing yourself, don't just say that you like films, say what films you like. If you like reading, what books do you like? If you describe yourself as funny, be funny in your online dating profile, don't just claim it.
4. Honesty – There may be a big temptation to embroider the truth or even just make things up. You don't need to, you are interesting and exiting enough as you are. Plus if a relationship does happen then these lies may be hard to cover up and come back to bite you.
5. Photo – Photos are integral to dating websites, despite other temptations you should pick a good, but honest and fairly recent photo of yourself, doing otherwise will just cause complications later. Let the photo show the kind of person you are, if your sporty why not use a picture of you playing a sport?
6. Relax – One of the biggest advantages of online dating sites is that there is little pressure. Unlike meeting face to face you don't need to be quick witted or confident to impress. You can take your time in producing an impressive profile that says everything you want about yourself, you can make your perfect first impression.

LOVE BEGINS AT 40
 
The online dating world is an exciting one, with a lot of opportunities and if you  follow these tips you should be well on the way to many successful dates.

What Deep Rooted Fears Are Keeping You Single?

LOVE BEGINS AT 40

It is very difficult to sit with a group of your friends and hear their stories and experiences that are taking place in their relationships - especially if you’re on your own. It will make you look at your life and wonder just how it is that you’re still single while all of your friends your age are married or at least in serious relationships. You start to feel down, depressed, frustrated and wonder if you’ll ever have what they do.

Have you ever thought that this could be something that you’ve brought on yourself? There are actually fears that can keep you single and you may not even know that you have them. 

LOVE BEGINS AT 40

You may be afraid that you will be single forever. This is something that many single people fear whether they admit it or not. It usually happens when you’ve had a few, or more than a few, unpleasant or seriously awful relationships, especially in a row. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking that you may NEVER have that just right relationship. This can really worry you if it’s later in your life than you thought you’d be single. Men can tell when a woman is desperate and scared to be on her own. Sensing this can change the way a man feels toward you. So, you see, holding onto this fear that you’ll never meet the Mr. Right may very well push him away when he DOES show up.

Another fear that can keep you single is the fear of losing your man. Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet. However, there are some guys that act creepy right out of the gate by assuming too much about where your relationship is going. They may even start getting possessive and/or controlling. Women that exhibit this same type of behavior with men after only a few dates will scare those men away. So when you start worrying about losing the guy before you ever really connect with him, it can make you act in ways that, while totally uncharacteristic of you, can cause the end of this relationship before it even starts. 

LOVE BEGINS AT 40

One of the top fears that might keep you single forever is that he will turn out to be just like your ex. This is pretty easy to understand. If your last relationship ended badly, you need to take enough time to get emotionally under control again. When you give it enough time, then your next man will get a fair chance without you comparing him to your ex. Breaking the emotional ties to your past, and the fear associated with it, helps you move away from the past without taking any old problems or patterns into the new relationship you’re trying to get off the ground.

Be very honest about whether or not you have these fears. Only by admitting to them can you start getting rid of them.

Ready For the Sexual Side of A New Relationship?

  

LOVE BEGINS AT 40
               
Men and women have to redefine themselves after a relationship ends, and reinvent their lives. If they do it well, it can lead to the most satisfying and successful years they've had. Dating successfully after divorce or a breakup require several steps to recover from the breakup.
Understanding what went wrong in the last relationship, so you don't repeat the pattern.
Identifying the kind of partner you're looking for and developing social networks involving these kinds of people.
Some people never date again or don't do so for a long time. People who wait a long time, or never date are trying to avoid repeating old mistakes and having hurt feelings, loss, disappointment and grief. This is akin to not changing anything in your departed partner's closet, because you don't want to face the pain. A better way to do it is to work through the pain, and learn from it as you go. You can figure out what went wrong, what your mistakes were, and how to correct all that and re-think your idea of relationships. This may require the help of a therapist.

Once you've taken the steps needed to recover from a breakup , finding a new love is simple, because you've changed the odds to be in your favor. But there are a few tips to help you as you start dating again.       LOVE BEGINS AT 40
 
1. Don't have sex right away with your new partner.
Keep in mind that, if you have sex right away, it usually brands the relationship as sex -only and you don't get taken seriously. So, if you want to see if you can manage it, pick someone you're attracted to, but realize there's no relationship there. Also, if you are the type who bonds upon having sex, keep that in mind -- your partner may not be, so make sure there's some bonding there before you try it.

2. Take precautions when you do have sex.
Safer sex, of course. If you're female, don't just worry about pregnancy -- make sure you're informed about disease, as well. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) can be deadly and devastating, so always provide a condom and insist on using it unless you're both tested and in a committed relationship (with someone you can trust).

3. Deal with the awkwardness of sex with a new partner.
I recommend the zen idea of a beginner's mind: Accept that everything you’re doing now is new to you, and open yourself to learning about it. Wide-eyed wonder at whatever happens is very attractive. I’m not talking about being brainless or thoughtless. On the contrary. A beginner’s mind is alert, observing, and open to new ideas. Your objective is to learn — about what people are doing, who they are, what the possibilities are and how it all fits in to your goals.
Everything you’ve learned about relationships and dating in your past is certainly useful, and you’ll draw on it as we go along, but your general approach to this process is as a beginner -- 'I’m new at this, I want to learn.' Because you are a beginner, you can open lots of conversations by simply asking questions about what’s going on.

Keep a Healthy Balance - Do Not Give Away Your Power

LOVE BEGINS AT 40

 One reason your relationships tend to fail is that you start out well enough, but then slowly, without realizing it, you start to give away your power. This process is insidious and before you know it, instead of having a healthy give and take, the relationship has lost its balance. When you give your power away it erodes your self-esteem and you start to feel a sense of unease and resentment. This affects how you show up as half of a couple and can’t help but create tension and dissatisfaction.

Giving up your power never feels good, though it may feel comfortable. It’s a habit you may be repeating without your awareness.
How you’re giving your power away in relationships:

1. You avoid conflict: No one enjoys conflict in a relationship, but all too often a woman will ask me, “How do I confront him with this?” I then ask her why she’s using the word “confront?” Why not consider how you may have an adult discussion about a problem. If you frame it in your mind as a confrontation, of course you’ll want to avoid that. If you think you’re someone who avoids conflicts, you might want to learn some new skills on how to appropriately present your needs.

2. You’re afraid of what others will think: If you find yourself not quite being honest to your friends and family about the state of your relationship, you’re doing yourself a great disservice. You’re at risk of starting to believe your “lies” and not facing the truth about what is hurting you. You may be embarrassed or you may be afraid they’ll be mad at you — so you fake what you’re feeling to avoid their judgment. When you conduct your life worried about what others think, you will never be true to yourself and always feel unfulfilled in love.

3. You compare yourself to others: Comparing yourself to others will only cause you misery and pain. Anytime you look outside yourself for validation you will be disappointed. If you see a loving couple out in public, you might compare by asking yourself, “Maybe he doesn’t love me enough, why doesn’t do that with me?” A better response is to let them inspire you to be more like that yourself. One response adds more love to your life while the other replaces it with a complaints.

 LOVE BEGINS AT 40

4. You diminish yourself to please someone else: As women we are more powerful than we know. Women who feel their power will sometimes be attracted to “weaker” men. At first the imbalance of power feels good but it soon becomes frustrating. But to show your displeasure will make the man feel bad just for being who he is. So you resign yourself and put a barrel over your “light” so you don’t show him up. This happens in many subtle ways, by acquiescing to his needs and feelings and discounting your own.

Giving your power away hurts YOU the most.
Take a good look at how you’re showing up in your relationships. If any of these examples feel like you, do the work you need to stop giving your power away in love and then hopefully find a healthy balance that works for you in your relationships.