Friday, 30 May 2014

Mature Dating - Having and Maintaining Patience

 Mature dating relationships are all about love and understanding the other person's needs and likes. There is no joy in ending a relation by fighting and painful separation. No one benefits from that. Everyone has an innate desire to be loved and feel special whether it is a guy or a girl. There are some tips which you should keep in mind while pursuing a mature dating relationship in order to ensure that it does not end on a bitter note. There are a lot of examples of relationships ending on a bad note because the couple just did not know what was to be done.


First and foremost, you should understand the fact that every mature dating relationship needs a lot of patience. There is no one perfect in this world. Everyone has their own set of flaws but that is what makes them special and different from everyone else. Rather than creating a big fuss about every single annoying detail, it is better to give the person some time and make him/her understand the follies.  It understandably takes a lot out of you to forgive every single mistake and annoying attribute but every good thing in life comes with a price. There are a million little things which could result in differences for the two of you. For instance, if there is a wide age gap of more than 5 years, then both the partners might find it difficult to understand each other. The importance lies not in being perfectly compatible but being able to understand each other's needs.

People need to be mature enough to understand that age is not a criteria for forming a mature dating relationship, understanding is. Patience helps in making a lot of difference in this regard. Be patient enough to understand what the other person wants rather than harping on your own needs.  If done imperfectly, this results in lot of anger which has been the bane for many a mature dating relationship. People who might be perfectly compatible for each other often lose out on finding true love in each other if they are unable to comprehend what the other person wants.  The best way to get out of this precarious situation is to discuss your problems with a lot of patience. There are a lot of people who are unable to express their true feelings because of a myriad reasons. Take time to  understand each other and the world will suddenly be a better place to be in.


Where anger and selfishness breed a hostile environment, patience gives way to love and peace. Patience is the water that puts fires out and when it is coupled with kindness a wonderful arena is set for true, lasting love to spring forth. It is in forgiveness and gentleness that you will find true rest for your souls in your relationship. Mature dating takes sacrifice, time and dedication but it is well worth it because it creates true fulfillment.

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Do You have a History of Bad Relationship Patterns?

Bad Relationship Patterns - where we constantly begin relationships that start out full of promise, only for them to end up in disappointment and sadness. If this sounds like you, if you suffer bad relationship patterns, then you will do well to learn to recognize what the problems are. This is the only way to escape from that constant cycle of pain and sadness. When choosing our partners, the whole process appears to go through stages. Firstly, we become aware of someone’s attractiveness, and their exciting personality (or vice versa). What comes next is the discovery that we possess certain interests, principles etc., that are common to us. Then we come to a state of mental arousal, where we begin to “click”, before finally, a more meaningful, psychological attachment develops.


If you experience bad relationship patterns, then surely you’ll recognize these feelings:
Conflict, Obsession, Feeling of Loss/Loneliness, Physical sensations/reactions, Repetitiveness/Boredom, Vulnerability.

  • Conflict: Never mind how you felt about your lover, deep down you always recognized something wasn’t quite ideal about the relationship. You felt feelings of jealously, uncertainness, nervousness or stress because of the relationship you were in.
  • Obsession: You believe that it is your own actions or words that drove your partner(s) away, though you remain convinced that you can fix things and turn the object of your passion into the adoring, loving person you desperately desire.
  • Feeling of loss: At the end of the relationship, you feel a sense of deep loneliness. Where you once felt a ‘connection’ with your lover, now there is only sadness, regardless of how painful or stressful that relationship turned out.
  • Physical sensations: Something your lover says or does, results in a familiar physical sensation that is deeply uncomfortable, for instance, a headache or a knot in your stomach.
  • Repetitiveness: Lots of your relationships started full of promise and hope, only to spectacularly fail later . Even though the people involved are not the same, the ending always turns out badly.
  • Vulnerability: You have a long-standing vulnerability; you are very conscious of your own ego and as a result are always looking to ‘prove yourself’ to your lover.
 If you experience one or more of the symptoms detailed above, and you find it difficult to forge long-lasting relationships, then you could have an issue with bad relationship patterns. So what can you do about this? Simple – you need to discover your own psychological needs are. By discovering yourself, you will identify the forces at work that shove you into the clutches of undesirable partners. Once this is understood, you will actually be able to avoid bad relationship patterns and into a more rewarding, loving relationship that you seek.

Friday, 2 May 2014

Tips For Online Dating After Divorce

You have been divorced for a while and you are ready to start dating again. Your family and friends are recommending online dating. You are not sure. You are nervous enough about dating, but online dating seems dangerous to you. That makes it important to get some tips for online dating before you start this process.

Individuals that are dating online find it best to use an online dating service. It is thought to be safer, but you should still be cautious. Don't jump into meeting someone you don't know. Many recommend when the time does arrive to meet someone you connected to online, that you go with a group or at least let someone know your plans. It is better to be safe than sorry. Most online dating services provide background checks as an added precaution to keep their clients safe. When working with an online dating service you will indicate your likes from hobbies to personality traits. These will all be collected to match you with like mind individuals also on the service. Even religious beliefs and physical traits are considered.

Really screen your potential dates and take your time. You will usually get several choices of individuals to contact. You can choose to contact them all, contact a few or only one. You should review their profiles to help you decide to contact them or not. Sometimes you'll get personal messages. It just depends on how the service is set up. Many that have been online dating suggest contacting a few matches at the same time. You can e-mail or chat back and forth to get to know them. It will help you ease into dating again and it will help you decide if you want to get to know any of them better. If you have been talking with someone online it is best etiquette to end it online if you are interested in no longer keeping up the relationship. It is better to do it early than linger on and end on a bitter note.

Allow yourself a second chance at finding someone special, but really get to know them. Consider deeply what you want and give them a chance. Still when you know it won't work then move on to someone new. Part of online dating at some point is talking on the phone as well. It is a way to get to know each other a little better and feeling more confident before meeting. Just be careful and sensible about where you arrange the first meeting.