Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Are You Giving Your Partner Enough "Breathing Space" ?

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Does your partner have breathing room in your dating relationship?  It is incredibly important for the person you are dating not to feel stifled, and the ability to retain their individuality.  So what is breathing room, anyway? When you and your partner give each other the necessary space to have some alone time, you have breathing room. When you don't pressure your partner to change and allow for differences between the two of you. If you start to lose yourself and begin to change to what your partner expects you to be, you are not functioning in a mature dating relationship and you are doing a disservice to yourself and to your partner.
It's not fair for your partner to expect you to change to what he or she wants you to be. If you are involved in that type of a relationship, you should exit it immediately. You are worthy of more respect than your current partner is giving you. True love is unconditional and it means that we accept each other just as we are, imperfections and all.
An example of giving too much space is to allow your partner to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex and your partner starts to spend more time with them than with you. In order to be involved in a mature dating relationship, you need to set some boundaries and speak honestly with your partner about this and how it is making you feel. Possibly your partner has always had a lot of friends of the opposite sex and this seems normal to him or her. However, it is possible that you could start feeling threatened that your partner will start to feel more than platonic feelings for one or more of these friends. If these feelings are valid then you need to express them in a constructive way, while giving him or her some understanding of the background that has caused him or her to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex.
Does this mean that you should live with the fact that your partner has so much freedom and breathing room that he or she walks all over you? Of course not. You need to find that delicate balance between giving each other breathing room and stating the boundaries that you are willing to live with. For example, if you partner wants to hang out with his or her friends, should you stop this from happening? If you try to stop it, then they will either do it without your blessing or he or she will abide by your wishes and eventually grow bitter with you for not allowing this to happen. Socializing is actually a good thing; it allows you and your partner to experience that precious space that is healthy for your relationship.  It's all about expressing your honest feelings about the issues that affect your relationship and working together to find the balance between space and having boundaries and living within a mature dating relationship.

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Over 40? Tips and Dating Advice for Men Who are Revisiting the Dating Scene

Some men over 40 will benefit from dating advice. Guys could be in the situation of testing the dating scene following a lengthy absence. Understandably they might be somewhat nervous about their method of dating. However, you don't have to worry.

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 Human beings still relate to each other much as they have for a very long time. Although the dating scene has changed quite a bit. The creation of online dating has really helped with this. Using online dating sites to meet someone new makes the process so much easier, and allows you to meet women who you may never have crossed paths with. Life, family, and work are all vying for your precious time when you are in your forties. If you choose to use online dating websites, you'll bypass a lot of the burden and free up a lot of time that people invest in dating.

Entering the dating scene as a many over 40 may seem daunting but there are many helpful hints and tips that can aid you. The following are some more useful ones:Remember to behave according to your age. All right, this suggestion might appear, superficially at least, a bit blunt. Many men try to act like they are back in their 20's when they reenter the dating scene so it is a necessary statement to make. Some people think that this kind of thing will help them seem up to date. In actuality, they end up looking rather childish. Honestly, if you want to making dating work for you, then you have to come across as a responsible individual!

But, you should be sure to give an impression of hipness, in a good sense of the word! It can be a good idea to read current affairs and news, perhaps fashion and entertainment magazines to spot the latest trends. This way, you can hold a conversation about current topics instead of looking like you've been a shut-in for quite awhile.
You should always do your best to be positive when out on a date. Once more, this is one of those things that are so simple to talk about but a different story when it comes to actually doing it. There will be some difficult days. In that case, it may be difficult to be optimistic. Remember, you must be cheerful while dating. There are burdens that you carry with you, but while you're out dating, it's crucial to get this off of your mind.

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As people say, you must dress for success. Many singles may not know that this works for dating as well as for business deals. Even if they are fashionable, rumpled clothing will never impress. Once you cross forty, your dressing sense should convey your interest in dating. Most importantly - personal hygiene is of utmost importance.  A good fragrance or aftershave is always attractive to a woman, but don't overdo it!  You don't want to smell like you bathed in the whole bottle.

Lastly - a HUGE word of encouragement:  The women you meet are also looking for many of the same reasons you are.  Friendship, a companion to do fun stuff with, and perhaps eventually discover another chance at love.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Communicating is Key to the Success of any Relationship

Communicating effectively in any mature dating relationship is a two way street. It is not only about talking, it is also about listening. There is no point if one person is talking all the time. One way communication will make no improvements to your relationship. If the other person listens and interacts, then it means you have successfully got your message across and the other person is trying to help resolve it and come to a consensus. Sometimes, you may not have explained what you are trying to say, and this may mean you have to clarify what you are saying and make sure that your partner understands exactly what you mean. Remember that a successful dialogue is when you have gotten your point across, not when you have finished saying what you wanted to say.

Sometimes, a simple misunderstanding can lead to a lot of unwanted issues. It could be something a person said, or something that may be talked about. An issue can never be resolved unless you come out with it in the open. If you truly want to solve the problems and develop a mature dating relationship, you have to learn to be vocal about it and willing to explain what made you think in that manner. Mature dating starts with a good understanding of how to communicate.
Often, mature dating couples try to be too nice to each other and don't actively exchange what they feel about things. If you are trying to tell yourself to not speak up because you want the relationship to last, then think about the day when it all comes out at once. This might probably be the day that your relationship might come to an end. Hence, a smart thing to do is resolving issues as they happen rather than wait for them all to come out in the end and cause more damage than they were supposed to.

A good tip for effective communication in a mature dating relationship is the interest you show in the other persons problems. In a dating relationship, you must be willing to make sacrifices as well as ready to make some compromises to make the other person feel comfortable and cared for. Thus,if the other person is saying something that may not really be something you care about, you still need to have the interest to listen to it and then provide feedback. There is no point in trying to act like you care because it will eventually backfire and put you in a tough spot later on.

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Most communication issues stem from a place of selfishness. We want something but can't have it or we're restricted from getting it because of the other person, so we get angry and we connive to get it. Or it could be the pride that comes with selfishness. So many couples end up in arguments and forget what they're even arguing about. In this situation it is pride that is fueling the negative emotions. Learning to submit to one another and live humbly will put out any fires that burn from selfishness and pride which is the first step to developing a mature dating relationship.