Thursday, 17 July 2014

Top 5 Reasons Independence is Important in Your Relationship

Living in a close relationship with your special someone is invigorating, exciting and fun.  In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability share their lives as well.
These are a few of the reasons why this balance of separateness and togetherness is important:
1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating. If each party brings his or her individual interests to the table, they'll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another. 

Love Begins at 40 - Mature Dating
2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it. If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.
  • Having confidence that your partner can "be okay" without you while you're at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
  • Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally.
3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship. When you're both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role.
  • When balance isn't present, one partner might take the role of "the strong one" in the relationship while the other partner is consequently "the weak one." Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.
4. Your relationship becomes stronger. When two independent people make a decision to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.
  • Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership, since it's built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.
5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.
  • If a partner is emotionally secure, they're not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time.
  • Each person's sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay, since their independence already shows that they're able to take care of themselves.
  • When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table.
  • Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate's autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.
Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Bringing up different interests for discussion, feeling like you can depend on the other and having a balanced relationship all stem from both parties having their own sense of autonomy.

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Do You Have a Fear of Commitment ?

Do you find yourself getting cold feet at some point after starting a new relationship? Do you know why? Do want to know how to free yourself of this limiting and frustrating scenario?

When it comes to relationships the fear of commitment is a familiar yet poorly understood entity.
Did you know that it can be due to many underlying factors such as:

1. The fear of intimacy.

2. The fear of feeling too dependent on your partner.

3. The fear of being exploited.

4. The fear of being rejected.

5. The fear of re-experiencing old painful feelings of a parental separation, divorce or loss.

6. Feelings of inadequacy.

7. Feelings of shyness.

8. The fear of fully opening yourself up to your own feelings.

9. The fear of being lied to.   And so on....

Did you also know that many individuals believe that such factors actually keep them feeling safe and secure by preventing them from venturing forward into uncharted relationship waters. Is that however true?  For instance, let's look at the fear of rejection as a case in point. When you're caught in this fear do you actually feel safe or secure? Unlikely!
Instead you likely feel very insecure, anxious, vulnerable, and like wanting to run away!  If you see that, then if you wish kindly place one hand over your Heart and simply affirm to your self that you see that.  You may feel strangely more empowered now. If you like that experience then also affirm that to yourself and it and you will only grow stronger.  All of these negative factors actually have the potential to keep you very much alone and feeling unfulfilled, correct? If you see that affirm that to yourself.

So are we all born with these negative factors inside of us? No.
They get programmed into you as you grow up and experience negative events that are subsequently stored inside of you as negative memories. These memories have associated with them the old painful feelings which they generate regularly as long as the memory resides inside you.  The only real way to free yourself of those negative feelings/factors is to erase the memories that generate them.