Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Everything Can Be Ruined By Having Expectations That Are Unrealistically High

When you are fresh out of a relationship which did not last too long for whatever reason, everything seems imperfect and you seem to have lost hope on dating. When you finally start to look for a mature dating relationship, then your constant search for perfection leads to disappointment at all levels.  This is one of the primary reasons why you should never keep your hopes too high for dating.
Nobody is perfect and when you want to search for someone who is perfect, you would be looking for someone who is exactly as you want them to be. There would be an absence of individuality which would affect you in the long run of mature dating relationships. Of course, you should have good expectations and should never settle for someone who you think is second best but the expectations should be intertwined with a tinge of realism. Mature dating relationships are all about finding the right person for yourself and taking decisions which would affect your life in a positive manner. Instead of searching for someone who is perfect, you should make a list of all the qualities which you look for. Perhaps you will meet someone who makes perfect sense of the qualities and is there waiting for you.

The point of making such a list is to review it. This would give you a good idea whether you are being realistic enough in mature dating relationships instead of searching for that mythical perfect person. Having unnaturally high expectations tends to destroy any hopes of finding a soul mate.  This would lead to bitterness and misery which would further harm your state of mind. But once you have a picture of what you are looking for in a person who can make you happy, then start the dating scene with wanton recklessness. Sometimes, the best way to find someone you like is by not searching for them. Obviously they would not be telling you about their character traits by the dozen, you need to figure that out yourself. Who knows who your perfect soul mate is? Maybe it is someone who is half-way around the world or maybe it is someone who you met in the train today or that someone who is sitting beside you.

It is essential in mature dating relationships to remember to treat the other person the way you would want to be treated. We are all imperfect so we won't always fight fair nor do everything in the best interest of others, so we all need grace to mess up. When you offer forgiveness and grace you will in turn receive the same when you need it the most. Keep the other person in your mind and heart and know that as you give from a place of selflessness, you will have a huge return on the investment in the end.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

How To Have a Fun and Successful Online Mature Dating Experience

Will it be heart break or love online? Well you might have more say in the outcome of your online mature dating experience then you think. Follow these tips for online dating to increase your responses, success and fun!

Tips for online mature dating:

1. Make your photo fun but not silly. Let's face it, your first contact with someone online will involve your photo so put some effort into selecting the right picture. What do you want to project? Do you want others to think you are fun, lively, sweet? Research shows that a fun picture, for instance you at the park or having fun has more appeal then a stuffy picture of you in work attire or a grainy picture that looks like it was cropped.  Posing with a car or shirt off (for men) could also create the wrong impression! 

2. Add details to your profile. Your profile is the next place people will look and you want your profile to have specific details that show who you are. If you have a dog, what breed is it and what is it's name? What is your favorite hotel at your favorite vacation spot? The more you share the more opportunities others see to communicate with you. A well thought out profile can explode your response rate.

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3. Take a systematic approach. Dating online gives you a unique opportunity to learn about someone before you even meet. Use this time to your advantage, keep track of fun facts about the people you meet as well as inconsistencies between what they say and how they act. Your top priority is fun but you can save yourself a lot of heart break down the road with the right approach to mature dating.

4. Don't get discouraged. You might have to meet a few frogs before you meet your Prince (or Princess) Charming and that's OK; it happens to everyone. Keep the attitude that when one door closes another one opens and you will find what you are looking for when embarking on Mature Dating

Friday, 14 March 2014

Mature Dating - Listen To Your Inner Voice

In order to experience a true mature dating relationship, we need to find that delicate balance between listening to your feelings and following the facts.  So many times we ignore our feelings and don't allow them to influence our decisions because we have been trained to follow the facts and the reality of the situation.

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Generally speaking, women are usually more emotional than men and that is not a bad thing;  women start to hold back their feelings and don't truly express themselves for fear of being called overly emotional. For the men, you need to allow your partner to express her feelings and not to hold her back when she becomes emotional. Being emotional may seem foreign to you as a man, but it is not foreign to women.  Being emotional creatures by nature there is a need to be able to release those emotions, hopefully in a mature and respectful way, and express themselves.
The problem comes into play when women begin to express their emotions in negative ways and this can cause problems in the relationship. One negative expression of emotions is to throw a temper tantrum. Yes, even adults do have tantrums at times. If you don't get your way in a relationship, there comes a time when you may want to scream and yell at your partner and throw a tantrum. However, that is not constructive behavior and does nothing to advance your relationship to the next level as a mature dating couple.

Another negative factor in expressing emotions to utilize those feelings to manipulate your partner toward doing what you want him or her to do. Yes, men can also use their emotions to manipulate the situation. When you start to cry because you know that your partner melts when he sees you cry and will give you what you want, that is manipulation. When you start to cry because you know your partner does not want to hear you whine and will give you what you want, that is also manipulation. When you use your emotions to try to put your partner on a guilt trip, you are wrong and are utilizing manipulation and you are not coexisting in a mature dating relationship.

We need to learn to listen to our feelings and then take the time to evaluate the best, healthy way to express them and then do that, in the proper way. Don't yell because you are mad. Don't get physical and hit someone because you are angry. Having feelings is normal and we need to acknowledge them and use them to further mature in our relationships and as individuals. If we start to ignore our feelings, we will not be true to ourselves and we will be doing more harm than good in our lives for both our partners and ourselves. If we ignore our feelings, we will contain them and one day we may explode in anger or some other negative emotion. Value your feelings and be true to yourself and strive to be mature.

Friday, 7 March 2014

Should You Discuss Your Ex Partner?

Is there a mature dating etiquette to discussing your ex with your current or future partners?
Should you discuss your ex at all??
If you've been in a hurtful or immature dating relationship and you have a great deal of emotional baggage from past relationships, your desire to discuss your exes with your current partner could be very high. However, that desire could also be very low.
If you want to speak about your past relationships it could very well be because you have unresolved issues and you feel compelled to share them with your new partner. Maybe you feel that your partner deserves to know about your past relationships or that if you want your partner to fully understand your current behavior he or she needs to comprehend your past relationship experiences.
If you don't desire to discuss your past relationships with your partner, it could very well be because you were terribly hurt and are vulnerable and feel afraid that you can likewise experience similar pain in this new relationship.
So, if you want to experience a mature dating relationship with your new partner, how should you go about finding that healthy emotional experience? Is it proper to bear all of your emotional scars or to hold back in the emotional vulnerability department and remain quiet and keep the past locked up in the past? In order to be in that mature dating relationship, you need to find that balance between bearing all your skeletons and keeping quiet.
Another important factor is your partner. Do you think your partner is ready to hear about your past relationships and your hurts and emotional scars? If your partner is not ready to hear about that emotional baggage and you feel he or she may turn a deaf ear if you did try to share, then remain quiet on the subject. If you really need to share your past relationships and that need is overwhelming you, then your heart may be telling you something; you should take that chance and share this information with your partner.

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However, and this is a big however, you need to weigh the scales and find the perfect timing in relation to your need to share. If you are going out to a romantic dinner and you're at a restaurant, that may not be the proper time or place to share such a serious discussion. Remember, you do not know how your partner will react to this information and it's not fair to put your partner in such an environment if he or she is not prepared for the discussion. It's best to keep this discussion for a more private place like either of your homes or at a non-crowded park; basically speaking, don't have this discussion in a public place.
If the relationship is new, you also need to hold this information back, especially if you are working
at being involved in a mature dating relationship. Just like you don't discuss your desire to be married when you're out on a first date, you also should not discuss such heavy topics as your past relationship baggage. First of all, you don't even know if you will get further than a first date with this person and before you share such intimate emotional details about your past, you need to be sure that you trust this person one hundred percent. If you are going to be emotionally vulnerable with someone it should be for the sole purpose of bringing you both closer together in your relationship and for lessening your burden of your past by sharing these details with someone you care about. If you don't want to move further in this relationship, don't feel that you need to share these emotional and intimate details. You are your number one priority and you need to protect you emotional, mental and physical health; especially while you are in the dating seeking world.