Is there a mature dating etiquette to discussing your ex with your current or future partners?
Should you discuss your ex at all??
If you've been in a hurtful or immature dating relationship and you have a great deal of emotional baggage from past relationships, your desire to discuss your exes with your current partner could be very high. However, that desire could also be very low.
If you want to speak about your past relationships it could very well be because you have unresolved issues and you feel compelled to share them with your new partner. Maybe you feel that your partner deserves to know about your past relationships or that if you want your partner to fully understand your current behavior he or she needs to comprehend your past relationship experiences.
If you don't desire to discuss your past relationships with your partner, it could very well be because you were terribly hurt and are vulnerable and feel afraid that you can likewise experience similar pain in this new relationship.
So, if you want to experience a mature dating relationship with your new partner, how should you go about finding that healthy emotional experience? Is it proper to bear all of your emotional scars or to hold back in the emotional vulnerability department and remain quiet and keep the past locked up in the past? In order to be in that mature dating relationship, you need to find that balance between bearing all your skeletons and keeping quiet.
Another important factor is your partner. Do you think your partner is ready to hear about your past relationships and your hurts and emotional scars? If your partner is not ready to hear about that emotional baggage and you feel he or she may turn a deaf ear if you did try to share, then remain quiet on the subject. If you really need to share your past relationships and that need is overwhelming you, then your heart may be telling you something; you should take that chance and share this information with your partner.
Mature Dating can start now...
However, and this is a big however, you need to weigh the scales and find the perfect timing in relation to your need to share. If you are going out to a romantic dinner and you're at a restaurant, that may not be the proper time or place to share such a serious discussion. Remember, you do not know how your partner will react to this information and it's not fair to put your partner in such an environment if he or she is not prepared for the discussion. It's best to keep this discussion for a more private place like either of your homes or at a non-crowded park; basically speaking, don't have this discussion in a public place.
If the relationship is new, you also need to hold this information back, especially if you are working
at being involved in a mature dating relationship. Just like you don't discuss your desire to be married when you're out on a first date, you also should not discuss such heavy topics as your past relationship baggage. First of all, you don't even know if you will get further than a first date with this person and before you share such intimate emotional details about your past, you need to be sure that you trust this person one hundred percent. If you are going to be emotionally vulnerable with someone it should be for the sole purpose of bringing you both closer together in your relationship and for lessening your burden of your past by sharing these details with someone you care about. If you don't want to move further in this relationship, don't feel that you need to share these emotional and intimate details. You are your number one priority and you need to protect you emotional, mental and physical health; especially while you are in the dating seeking world.