Friday, 14 March 2014

Mature Dating - Listen To Your Inner Voice

In order to experience a true mature dating relationship, we need to find that delicate balance between listening to your feelings and following the facts.  So many times we ignore our feelings and don't allow them to influence our decisions because we have been trained to follow the facts and the reality of the situation.

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Generally speaking, women are usually more emotional than men and that is not a bad thing;  women start to hold back their feelings and don't truly express themselves for fear of being called overly emotional. For the men, you need to allow your partner to express her feelings and not to hold her back when she becomes emotional. Being emotional may seem foreign to you as a man, but it is not foreign to women.  Being emotional creatures by nature there is a need to be able to release those emotions, hopefully in a mature and respectful way, and express themselves.
The problem comes into play when women begin to express their emotions in negative ways and this can cause problems in the relationship. One negative expression of emotions is to throw a temper tantrum. Yes, even adults do have tantrums at times. If you don't get your way in a relationship, there comes a time when you may want to scream and yell at your partner and throw a tantrum. However, that is not constructive behavior and does nothing to advance your relationship to the next level as a mature dating couple.

Another negative factor in expressing emotions to utilize those feelings to manipulate your partner toward doing what you want him or her to do. Yes, men can also use their emotions to manipulate the situation. When you start to cry because you know that your partner melts when he sees you cry and will give you what you want, that is manipulation. When you start to cry because you know your partner does not want to hear you whine and will give you what you want, that is also manipulation. When you use your emotions to try to put your partner on a guilt trip, you are wrong and are utilizing manipulation and you are not coexisting in a mature dating relationship.

We need to learn to listen to our feelings and then take the time to evaluate the best, healthy way to express them and then do that, in the proper way. Don't yell because you are mad. Don't get physical and hit someone because you are angry. Having feelings is normal and we need to acknowledge them and use them to further mature in our relationships and as individuals. If we start to ignore our feelings, we will not be true to ourselves and we will be doing more harm than good in our lives for both our partners and ourselves. If we ignore our feelings, we will contain them and one day we may explode in anger or some other negative emotion. Value your feelings and be true to yourself and strive to be mature.

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