LOVE BEGINS AT 40
Recovering from infidelity is never going to be easy. Whenever a violation of trust has occurred there is always caution on the part of the victim.
This is completely understandable. There is no definitive way to overcome infidelity,
but there are lots of possible solutions. The first decision is
whether the couple are going to remain together or not after the infidelity.
Either way, the victim will take a long time to heal. Should the
couple decide to stay together, there are many different sources of
help: counselling, e-books, books, and more recently hypnosis CD's.
Some people have found benefit from utilising Neuro Linguistic Programming, and also Emotional Freedom Techniques. Whatever method, or possibly several, there will be considerable work to be done in recovering from infidelity.
Trust is based on belief, and one's beliefs are the bedrock of how we
move throughout our lives. Some beliefs are much stronger and
important than others. Obviously, in the case of romantic attachments,
one believes (usually) that one's partner is completely honest, and
trustworthy. Coupled with that, is the belief that their partner is
completely faithful. These fundamental beliefs are often the foundation of
a relationship, and consequently carry powerful emotional attachments.
Just as one set of beliefs are smashed, another set of powerful
beliefs replace them. These beliefs are now the complete opposite of
trust. Almost everything is viewed with suspicion, and as the impact of
the event sinks in, the anger begins to unfold.
Anger is usually high on the scale of emotions when you are recovering from infidelity, alongside humiliation, anxiety, depression, and confusion, and these are the emotions that will need to be assuaged.
As you are recovering from infidelity it may seem that there is very
little improvement because the changes are small and almost
undetectable. However, with the right guidance and with determined
effort and support it is possible to start recovering from infidelity. None the less, it will be a process that may well take considerable
time. Recovering from infidelity is much like recovering from a bereavement.
Usually, when a couple decide to stay together they take decisive
steps to change what had brought about the betrayal. This usually
involves a process of absolute honesty in stating what the needs of each
partner are. Once the needs of each partner are known, the process of
recovering from infidelity may begin.
LOVE BEGINS AT 40
Conversely, if the couple decide to break up, there is still much
work needed to recover from the impact of the event. In some cases it
may still be necessary to see a counsellor or use some of the other aids
available, and would probably be wise to do so.
It can take a long time recovering from post traumatic shock, and it
should never be treated lightly. If the issues aren't worked through
carefully then it may impact upon a person for more years than
necessary, and indeed some people never recover at all it they don't
seek some kind of help.