Mature Dating - Having and Maintaining Patience

 Mature dating relationships are all about love and understanding the other person's needs and likes. There is no joy in ending a relation by fighting and painful separation. No one benefits from that. Everyone has an innate desire to be loved and feel special whether it is a guy or a girl. There are some tips which you should keep in mind while pursuing a mature dating relationship in order to ensure that it does not end on a bitter note. There are a lot of examples of relationships ending on a bad note because the couple just did not know what was to be done.

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First and foremost, you should understand the fact that every mature dating relationship needs a lot of patience. There is no one perfect in this world. Everyone has their own set of flaws but that is what makes them special and different from everyone else. Rather than creating a big fuss about every single annoying detail, it is better to give the person some time and make him/her understand the follies.  It understandably takes a lot out of you to forgive every single mistake and annoying attribute but every good thing in life comes with a price. There are a million little things which could result in differences for the two of you. For instance, if there is a wide age gap of more than 5 years, then both the partners might find it difficult to understand each other. The importance lies not in being perfectly compatible but being able to understand each other's needs.

People need to be mature enough to understand that age is not a criteria for forming a mature dating relationship, understanding is. Patience helps in making a lot of difference in this regard. Be patient enough to understand what the other person wants rather than harping on your own needs.  If done imperfectly, this results in lot of anger which has been the bane for many a mature dating relationship. People who might be perfectly compatible for each other often lose out on finding true love in each other if they are unable to comprehend what the other person wants.  The best way to get out of this precarious situation is to discuss your problems with a lot of patience. There are a lot of people who are unable to express their true feelings because of a myriad reasons. Take time to  understand each other and the world will suddenly be a better place to be in.

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Where anger and selfishness breed a hostile environment, patience gives way to love and peace. Patience is the water that puts fires out and when it is coupled with kindness a wonderful arena is set for true, lasting love to spring forth. It is in forgiveness and gentleness that you will find true rest for your souls in your relationship. Mature dating takes sacrifice, time and dedication but it is well worth it because it creates true fulfillment.

Do You have a History of Bad Relationship Patterns?

Bad Relationship Patterns - where we constantly begin relationships that start out full of promise, only for them to end up in disappointment and sadness. If this sounds like you, if you suffer bad relationship patterns, then you will do well to learn to recognize what the problems are. This is the only way to escape from that constant cycle of pain and sadness. When choosing our partners, the whole process appears to go through stages. Firstly, we become aware of someone’s attractiveness, and their exciting personality (or vice versa). What comes next is the discovery that we possess certain interests, principles etc., that are common to us. Then we come to a state of mental arousal, where we begin to “click”, before finally, a more meaningful, psychological attachment develops.

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If you experience bad relationship patterns, then surely you’ll recognize these feelings:
Conflict, Obsession, Feeling of Loss/Loneliness, Physical sensations/reactions, Repetitiveness/Boredom, Vulnerability.

• Conflict: Never mind how you felt about your lover, deep down you always recognized something wasn’t quite ideal about the relationship. You felt feelings of jealously, uncertainness, nervousness or stress because of the relationship you were in.
• Obsession: You believe that it is your own actions or words that drove your partner(s) away, though you remain convinced that you can fix things and turn the object of your passion into the adoring, loving person you desperately desire.
• Feeling of loss: At the end of the relationship, you feel a sense of deep loneliness. Where you once felt a ‘connection’ with your lover, now there is only sadness, regardless of how painful or stressful that relationship turned out.
• Physical sensations: Something your lover says or does, results in a familiar physical sensation that is deeply uncomfortable, for instance, a headache or a knot in your stomach.
• Repetitiveness: Lots of your relationships started full of promise and hope, only to spectacularly fail later . Even though the people involved are not the same, the ending always turns out badly.
• Vulnerability: You have a long-standing vulnerability; you are very conscious of your own ego and as a result are always looking to ‘prove yourself’ to your lover.

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 If you experience one or more of the symptoms detailed above, and you find it difficult to forge long-lasting relationships, then you could have an issue with bad relationship patterns. So what can you do about this? Simple – you need to discover your own psychological needs are. By discovering yourself, you will identify the forces at work that shove you into the clutches of undesirable partners. Once this is understood, you will actually be able to avoid bad relationship patterns and into a more rewarding, loving relationship that you seek.

Tips For Online Dating After Divorce

You have been divorced for a while and you are ready to start dating again. Your family and friends are recommending online dating. You are not sure. You are nervous enough about dating, but online dating seems dangerous to you. That makes it important to get some tips for online dating before you start this process.

Individuals that are dating online find it best to use an online dating service. It is thought to be safer, but you should still be cautious. Don't jump into meeting someone you don't know. Many recommend when the time does arrive to meet someone you connected to online, that you go with a group or at least let someone know your plans. It is better to be safe than sorry. Most online dating services provide background checks as an added precaution to keep their clients safe. When working with an online dating service you will indicate your likes from hobbies to personality traits. These will all be collected to match you with like mind individuals also on the service. Even religious beliefs and physical traits are considered.

Really screen your potential dates and take your time. You will usually get several choices of individuals to contact. You can choose to contact them all, contact a few or only one. You should review their profiles to help you decide to contact them or not. Sometimes you'll get personal messages. It just depends on how the service is set up. Many that have been online dating suggest contacting a few matches at the same time. You can e-mail or chat back and forth to get to know them. It will help you ease into dating again and it will help you decide if you want to get to know any of them better. If you have been talking with someone online it is best etiquette to end it online if you are interested in no longer keeping up the relationship. It is better to do it early than linger on and end on a bitter note.

Allow yourself a second chance at finding someone special, but really get to know them. Consider deeply what you want and give them a chance. Still when you know it won't work then move on to someone new. Part of online dating at some point is talking on the phone as well. It is a way to get to know each other a little better and feeling more confident before meeting. Just be careful and sensible about where you arrange the first meeting.

Advice For Mature Dating

Many people may see dating as a task that only needs to be done by younger people. They may think that college students or recent grads or new business professionals are the only types of people that make up the dating scene, but this is absolutely wrong. There are also many people who are a part of the mature dating scene.


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The mature dating scene is comprised of many people who have lost a spouse and are now ready to find another companion or for the person who has gotten a divorce and is now looking for someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Whatever the reason there are many individuals that are a part of the mature dating scene. If you are just joining this group of individuals you shouldn't feel ashamed or intimidated at all there are many people that used to be in your same situation. If you were to meet any of these people, you may find that you have a lot in common and maybe even strike an unbreakable connection with them. If you are new to the mature dating scene, you may be wondering where you can go to find other people just like you. Well to start you can try to ask your friends where they are hanging out and maybe venture off to one of those places or you can consider online dating or matchmaking.

Online dating gives you the chance to get your feet wet in the mature dating world without it being so intimidating because you can do everything from your computer in the comfort of your home. You can use online dating to get a feel of what is out there. You can even read up on mature dating advice and find out where to hang out if you are in the mature dating scene. You can create a profile and then see the type of people you attract. If you are interested in any of them there is always the option of responding through email or the chat room to get to know more about them. However you choose to use online dating as you venture into the mature dating world it is sure to give you a head start and a feel for what's to come. When you are ready to move forward a little faster you can then use the services of a matchmaker.
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Points to Consider Before You Date an Older Man or Woman

Is dating older men or women right for you? Have you ever heard the saying that people are like a fine wine; they get better with age? When it comes to dating, many men and women are drawn to the older and more mature opposite sex. Beyond the excitement of partaking in a new experience, dating older men or women has both its own benefits and drawbacks.

Men and women reach maturity at different stages in their lives. Young women may find that an older man is more tender and giving of himself, more apt to dote on her. Young men may discover that they enjoy the independence of an older woman. She is set in many aspects of life and does not need a man to care for her, which takes the pressure off a younger suitor. Older men and women have wisdom that they are able to share and pass on to their younger partner. In many ways, they are able to be more open with intimacy, as the years have allowed them to get past the awkward stages of their sexual youth and feel comfortable in their own skin.

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On the opposite end of the scale, if you think you might want to date an older man or woman, it is important to consider that which is always the biggest concern for people: the age gap. Dating someone ten years or more your senior may be fun in the beginning, but at some point, if the relationship becomes serious enough, you should think about where you will be in five or even ten years. As you continue your relationship, you won't be entering the same life stages together. He or she may already be at a point you haven't even begun to yet consider. If you marry or move in with your older partner, are you prepared to possibly be a caregiver for them if their health fails them?

While these are serious questions and not the kind you might think of when you first begin dating an older man or woman, they are significant; you must be able to answer them if your relationship becomes a serious long term one. Yes, older men and women have much to offer their younger suitors: the experience of life, the security of being one's own person and the willingness to explore and try new things. But be sure you are capable of handling questions concerning age, and be sure you've considered whether the two of you can hold each other's interest in order to make the relationship successful.

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Mature Dating - Take Responsibility For Your Choices

We all have opportunities that present themselves everyday, and we have the chance to choose one direction or another. Once we decide on the specific course of action that we will go down, consequences will occur and our lives will be changed; however, change is good and should be embraced. We can learn from change and hopefully, we will grow in our mature dating relationships.

You have choices in the very initial stages of your dating seeking relationships. You have a choice if you will approach a dating prospect and ask this person out on a date. You have the choice not to approach this person and not take the chance at finding happiness.  You have the choice to accept or reject a dating proposal from a dating prospect. Take responsibility for your choices and realize that you need to own up to the consequences of those choices.

You have the choices that come with the initial dating relationship. Where do you want to go out on a date? What should you wear to the date? What should you talk about on your date? There are so many choices that you need to make just when you are beginning to formulate a relationship with someone. How are you supposed to make the right choices and to take responsibility for those choices?

Making the right choices starts with focusing on what you really want out of life and knowing where
you want to go. If you want to participate in a mature dating relationship, you need to have your own personal immediate, short-term and long-term goals figured out and decided upon before you try to maneuver in the dating seeking world. You need to work on your list of what you are looking for in a dating partner before you begin your search for a partner.  There will be times when your choices don't work out so well for you. You may chose to date someone and after some time in a dating relationship, you realize that this person is not the most compatible match for you and you both decide to end the relationship. It's possible that the break up may not go smoothly and you'll have some tension. You can still coexist in mature dating relationships if you learn how to be mature and deal with conflict resolution effectively for personal growth. You need to learn from your past experience in regard to your dating relationships and move forward to new relationships that will succeed.
You will have choices to make in regard to your partner and how you conduct your relationship. If your partner makes a mistake and does something to hurt or upset you, that is a situation where you will have a choice to make; do you become angry and frustrated and bitter or will you become understanding and acknowledge that no one is perfect and you need to love your partner unconditionally. You can participate in mature dating relationships if you make the right choices that promote emotionally healthy growth and values.

Everything Can Be Ruined By Having Expectations That Are Unrealistically High

When you are fresh out of a relationship which did not last too long for whatever reason, everything seems imperfect and you seem to have lost hope on dating. When you finally start to look for a mature dating relationship, then your constant search for perfection leads to disappointment at all levels.  This is one of the primary reasons why you should never keep your hopes too high for dating.
Nobody is perfect and when you want to search for someone who is perfect, you would be looking for someone who is exactly as you want them to be. There would be an absence of individuality which would affect you in the long run of mature dating relationships. Of course, you should have good expectations and should never settle for someone who you think is second best but the expectations should be intertwined with a tinge of realism. Mature dating relationships are all about finding the right person for yourself and taking decisions which would affect your life in a positive manner. Instead of searching for someone who is perfect, you should make a list of all the qualities which you look for. Perhaps you will meet someone who makes perfect sense of the qualities and is there waiting for you.

The point of making such a list is to review it. This would give you a good idea whether you are being realistic enough in mature dating relationships instead of searching for that mythical perfect person. Having unnaturally high expectations tends to destroy any hopes of finding a soul mate.  This would lead to bitterness and misery which would further harm your state of mind. But once you have a picture of what you are looking for in a person who can make you happy, then start the dating scene with wanton recklessness. Sometimes, the best way to find someone you like is by not searching for them. Obviously they would not be telling you about their character traits by the dozen, you need to figure that out yourself. Who knows who your perfect soul mate is? Maybe it is someone who is half-way around the world or maybe it is someone who you met in the train today or that someone who is sitting beside you.

It is essential in mature dating relationships to remember to treat the other person the way you would want to be treated. We are all imperfect so we won't always fight fair nor do everything in the best interest of others, so we all need grace to mess up. When you offer forgiveness and grace you will in turn receive the same when you need it the most. Keep the other person in your mind and heart and know that as you give from a place of selflessness, you will have a huge return on the investment in the end.